It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Sat the mom, son and daughter, but the house had no spouse.

The children had purchased and wrapped all their gifts, but the mom said she wasn’t quite done with her list.

She busily wrapped all the gifts she had bought, There is still one gift left, so she thought and she thought,

“This gift I can’t wrap up with paper and bow, It’s the sort of gift that just has to show.”

“This gift is the love that was given to me, Not something I earned, it was actually free.”

Free Christmas gifts you don’t have to buy, Are actually to me the very best kind.

So without boxes or paper or tags, I am sending to you, all the love that I have.

The love I am sending ,you can have for yourself, turn around it’s probably sitting right there on your shelf.

The stars in the sky look down where he lay, The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.

The mention of hay makes me long for my horse, But I can’t find a rhyme for that one of course.

So I will stop blogging and get out of here, Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year.

Happy 3 days after Christmas and Happy Birthday to my 19yr old daughter…Wait! Did I just say 19?! Wow. Dearest daughter of mine, I wish you wonderful things for this year to come. Life can be both exciting and scary at 19, but you are surrounded by those who love you and will help in any way they can.

That being said, please pick up all your stuff and put it in your room. Just kidding. You can do that later after you clean the kitchen. Still kidding. Today is your day so sleep to your heart’s content. Be sure you wake up later for some cake.

Love, Mom

I saw this and thought it was such an amazing picture. It is a picture of both the moon above and the sun below. It was taken at the North Pole. Santa’s a lucky guy to have a view like this.

What it really made me think of though, just one day can make such a difference.

You may wonder why you haven’t heard from me much lately. Welllllll, I have been dealing with some issues…I have thought a little about “this” and ALOT about “that”. And again,despite all the pondering, I came to the conclusion that this is all out of my control. Oh we may think we have it until something falls apart, or the ferries stop running, or your child is sick and the Dr’s have done all they can, or that you are now 4 inches shorter and insist that you can still reach the dinner plates without using a stool. I really like my stool though. My grandpa needle pointed it for me. He was a surgeon. I really miss him.

All that to say that someone is in control but it ain’t me. So I added a few vitamins to my day and decided to choose life…for 5 minutes at a time…and enjoy every minute of it.

Oh how I remember the good ol’ days. Those nights when I fell asleep and stayed asleep. Those nights have been hard to come by lately. Instead they have been replaced with staring at the ceiling, rolling over and then back again a few hundred times, taking a cancer inventory, thinking about my kids, starting a load of laundry, praying for a few hours, checking the clock and more. It seems I get out of bed more tired than the night before. A very hardworking friend once said that “Sleep is a weakness.” It was funny at the time. Ok, it’s still funny now, even with my perspective change. I don’t think that the robbing of every estrogen cell from my body is helping either. But such is the treatment.

So I guess what I am saying is, if you have any prayer requests let me know. It seems I have an extra 6 or 7 hours to fill.

Did I say “peace?” I meant “pain”..no, actually I meant “peace” or maybe even both. Pain can come and go in life. It can be a stubbed toe or a broken arm. But pain that is deep and lasting is often followed by perspective change. I sure have had a lot of that these past few years. I even see it in my son at 14. As we watched the fireworks at midnight on New Year’s Eve I asked him if he had any resolutions for the new year and he said,“No. I just want this year to be better than last year.” Instead of saying “I want save for a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time” he just wanted life to be better…that’s what was important to him.

Life looks very different now. What was once so important is really not important at all. What’s important now is kindness and not criticism, peace and not conflict, appreciating what we do for each other. Big changes, especially for me…yes I said me. I have learned much I confess. I mean after all, the blog is about the “true story” not the “pretend story”.

A few years ago I developed Pleural Effusion. There is a pleural cavity right outside your lung and it can sometimes fill with fluid. When I had it the first time the Dr. had my lung “tapped” and took out a litre of fluid. Since then it has not returned. Until now.

The fluid is back per 3 x-rays ago. The first x-ray showed a small increase. The second and third showed no increase, but here is where the fun begins. Now when I breathe it sounds like carbonation. Little fizzy sounds. Are you grossed out yet? I am. Life and symptoms have not gone well with this latest round of medicine. The good news is however, that my estrogen level went down 3 points. For most woman and their husbands, this is a bad thing…but for us breast cancer gals it is good news. We just have to buy a little extra chap stick.

Snow is so beautiful. I love the way it looks when it falls..I love the way it covers everything and makes it all look so clean. I love how quiet it is outside when it snows… But I hate it when it falls on Dr’s appointment day. Especially when your going to need to have your lung tapped and the next available appointment is over a week away. And further more, they say that no two snowflakes are alike…I’m not so sure…how do they know that a snowflake that fell in the 1800’s doesn’t look like the one that fell in my back yard yesterday? Hmmmm, what are your thoughts on that?

Our Laura Jane is now holding hands with Jesus.

The day after her last post, she did make it to the hospital for treatment and surgery involving her lungs. In the process, doctors discovered the cancer spread much further than anyone realized. All expected her to bounce back from surgery and begin more aggressive chemo. But for no apparent reason her liver failed after the surgery.

As she slowly faded from this world over the next several days, she was surrounded by love. Friends held her hands and recounted fun adventures together. Her precious children, Emily and Joe, heard directly from their mother how incredibly much she loved both of them. And in an amazing show of God’s grace, Laura Jane’s husband returned home and she and Chad expressed their love for eachother.

She was a picture of courage and strength in her final week with us. She slipped into the arms of Jesus full of peace in her heart and joy on her face in the first hour of Saturday, January 22, 2011.

Laura Jane’s family wants to thank each of you, whether you knew her in person or merely online, for entering into the beauty of this true story. And we invite you to post a comment to let us and others know how her story has touched you.

To God be the glory.